I’ve got something really embarrassing to admit, and not even sure why I am telling you this on a blog that’s supposed to be about mortgages. But, uh.. okay – here goes.. Sometimes I’ll play solitaire on my phone and I’ll pretend that it’s nationally televised, millions of people are watching me, and I’m the best player in the world – the Tom Brady of the NSL (National Solitaire League). I’ll do imaginary press conferences in my head after the games about what strategies I used, and how I overcame obstacles my feeble opponents tried to use against me. I mentor the younger solitaire amateurs that attend my off-season solitaire camp who have dreams of playing professionally. I fantasize about going to children’s hospitals and visiting the sick kids to cheer them up, maybe bringing them a signed Barry Schwartz poster. So, uh… I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I think I need to start seeing my therapist again.
Therapist Quote of the Day: “I told my therapist about my constant need to be liked and he said we can discuss it on the jet ski I bought him.” – Conan O’Brien
Today in Economic History: It was on this date in 1867 when Secretary of State William Seward agreed to purchase Alaska from Russia for seven-million dollars. People called Seward an idiot for spending that amount of money on such a barren icebox, but he looked like a genius when gold was discovered there in the late 1890s. I have a bond with William Seward because people called me an idiot for buying my expensive clothes hanger during the pandemic (a.k.a. my treadmill) but I’m still using it to hang clothes on two years later, so who’s the idiot now?! Anyway, here are 15 interesting facts about Alaska that you did not know.
Wuss’up This Week: Every day reports about our economy are released into the wild and it’s these reports that can sway interest rates in either direction. This week it’s all about jobs – ADP Employment Report today (expected: 425k new jobs), Jobless Claims tomorrow, and Friday’s biggie the Employment Numbers for March (zero new jobs expected. Haha – April Fools!! 460k new jobs expected. That was stupid, sorry I wrote it and too lazy to delete it…). If these reports come in good for the economy you’ll see rates continue to rise, and if the numbers disappoint then we might see rates tick down.
Interest Rate Update: Good fives: The Jackson Five, Ben Foldes Five, High fives, Five Guys Burgers. Bad fives? We are getting there, Mortgage Fans, but for now we find a conforming 30-year fixed-rate (*that’s for any loan at $647k or less) at 4.99%, and conforming ARMs at around 4.375%. Jumbo 30yr fixed loans (*over $647k) range anywhere from 4.25% – 4.75%, and jumbo ARMs in the high-3s/low-4s. As usual, rates will vary based on credit score, type of home, equity in the home, and if your home has a secret underground city.
Don’t Forget to Remember: Any purchase or refinance loan that closes with me gets a $575 lender credit! Grab yourself a cup of instant karma and pass my info along to any friends, family, coworkers, or people that love illusions that can use this gift.
Therapist Quote of the Day 2: “My therapist asked me to consider that most people want to be kind and aren’t trying to trap me. Sounds like a trap.” – @iSmashFizzle
Timeout for Trivia: Congrats to those who correctly guessed Helen Hunt last week. Want to be entered into a drawing to win a Spatula City T-shirt? Simply email me the answer to this week’s Who Am I? question. (and note to Mortgage Fans: this question was supposed to run last week, I messed up, so for you Google cheaters out there, the movie release date is off by one week) Good luck: “It was on this date in 2012 my hit movie was released, you can use synonyms to retitle it ‘Starvation Contest’. I won an Academy Award that year but not for that movie, it was for a movie whose title sounds like it would be a football flick. Yeah, there was some of that, along with a whole lot of dancing. My costar (from that movie) and I appeared in another movie together where he didn’t drink a drop of liquor, I was so proud of him. My first name is female, my last name male, and an anagram for my name is ‘Inner France Jewel’. I’m happy to star in movies with X’s in them.”
